Christmas...

Well Christmas was certainly different this year.
My Grandmother usually gives each grandchild a piece of silver for every holiday,
however this year we each got a gift (of our own choosing) instead.
My Grandmother usually invites a sweet elderly couple to celebrate with us,
but this year their son and his wife unexpectedly showed up.
He was kind of like a cowboy so it clashed with my family's sweet southern mask.
For dinner we had pork and NO HAM (for once).
My Grandfather used to make a point of cooking ham for Christmas.
No one liked his ham.
Mainly because he was British and they apparently like to eat their food still bleeding,
or at least he did.
This is probably why the thought of ham disgusts me.
Charles,
Grandmother's dog,
slobbered over the cheese appetizer,
but no one was aware of this.
My sister (El) and I watched the guests eat the contaminated cheese and occasionally warned them of the nastiness on the cheese.
I decided to only eat the cheese on the far side of the platter because it was observed to be untouched by Charles.
The evening at Grandmothers was finished with a game of Cranium with the cousins.
My cousin Kirt and I won.
Of course.
I am a bit competitive,
but I can usually keep my competitive spirit hidden from others by strategizing and winning every game.
Well,
not every game,
but many.
After my victory,
El and I went with the cousins to continue the tradition of watching a scary movie at their house every Christmas.
It was horrid.
I am never watching a scary movie again.
That tradition ended for me,
yesterday.
OH PRESENTS!
I got three bottles of shampoo and three bottles of conditioner,
I am set for a couple years!
I don't know what this says about me though...
Other than that I also got money and candy.
No games or toys this year,
sadly.
I always hate the toys I get,
they are always so young and simple.
But I love them at the same time,
secretly.

Christmas Eve Disease...

I had planned on writing Christmas cards on Christmas Eve and then sending them out the day after Christmas.

However, 

I got sidetracked by TV shows, 

A CHRISTMAS PACKAGE FOR ME, 

and food. 

So my Christmas card list is getting shorter and shorter. 

I first decided to only to send cards to girls and thus cut out a few cards.

Then I decided to only send cards to those who didn't live near me.

Then only to those who go to my school.

This narrows my list down to about twelve people,

give or take a few. 

So I planned on making these cards after the family left from Christmas Eve dinner. 

They left around eleven. 

By then I had a massive headache and I was feeling bloated from all the food I had consumed.

So instead,

I sat in agony and watched The Walking Dead with my sister,

until my mother called me down to take a shower. 

By the time I got out of the shower I still had a headache and thus did not feel like making cards. 

They will get done eventually. 

By next year at the latest.

I'm really not that concerned about them at all which is kind of funny because I loved making them last year. 

But maybe I had a different reason to be happy,

I can't recall. 

All this to say,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I am so lame...

Today I hung out with my friend Christina.
It was super gross outside so we watched TV shows and crocheted all day.
Then my sister came home from work and I talked to her for a little while.
She just left to go on a (undefined) date with the guy of her dreams.
Meanwhile,
I am talking to Kee (the cat),
blogging,
and watching Dexter by myself.
I am a pretty lame person.
I like to think I was once a cool kid,
but the truth is I am extremely lame.
The most exciting thing I did today was get eggnog.
Cause I love eggnog.
Oh well.

The couch is big enough...

While I was babysitting one day this little boy hit me on the rear with a plastic sword and this is what followed:

Boy: Man your butt is hard!

Girl: That is so mean!

Me: Hold up a second! That was my phone in my pocket!

Girl: Do you have a big booty?

Me: Uh I don't know, maybe?

Girl: That's ok! There is plenty of room for you on the couch!

What kind of party...

(Babysitting one day)
Girl: Lets have a party!
Me: What type of party?
Girl: What?
Me: WHAT TYPE of party?
Girl: What?
Me: What KIND of PARTY?
Girl: Oh, I'm allergic to peanuts!
Me: Oh...
Girl: But that is a great question!
Me: ...

Snack...

The other night I was studying with my friend Racht,
but we were getting super hungry.
So I brought up the idea of driving to Burger King.
She was down for it so we drove off campus to get some 'snacks'.
Oh yeah,
it was like 11pm at the time.
Anyways,
we finally got to Burger King,
which is about 15 minutes away,
and Racht says "You know I really just want a milkshake."
We get to the drive through and decide that Racht should use an accent to order.
So this is the convo:
     lady: hello, how may i help you?
     Racht: i neet some tieme to tink
     lady:... sorry?
     Racht: i neeed some time to tink!
     lady: ...you need a sweet tea?     
     Racht: i need to tink!   
     lady: ok
At this time, I decided I wanted some egg-nog (my favorite),
so I told Racht to ask the lady if they had any.
     Racht: ok! do you haf eck-nock?
     lady: what?
     Racht: egch-noggck?
     lady: no, sorry, we don't have egg nog...
     Racht: ok, I haf geengerbread shake?
     lady: I'm sorry, our shake machiene is broken...
     Racht: ...ok... ok, goutbye!
     lady: have a nice night!
So due to the terrible news that there were no milkshakes,
we decided to call our friend Olive to ask for directions to another fast food restaurant.
She sent us down this sketchy road for about 15 minutes that led to Wendys.
Wendys was closed,
but thankfully McDonalds was right next door.
So we went to McDonalds,
I got egg-nog,
Racht got a mcflurry or something of that sort.
On our way back,
we saw these two cows who were standing super close to the road.
They did not have a fence,
but there was a huge field behind them.
We turned around to take a picture,
but we could not find them ANYWHERE.
It was sufficiently strange.
We headed back to school and got NO work done.
However,
I would say the night was a success because it was quite fun.
And I got egg-nog,
which is delicious.